WOW - MY MOOD SWINGS ARE EPIC

[lulubellnyc]

I'm sitting here crying for no reason.

If I wasn't preggers I would think I was bi-polar.

Hubby has to go to California for a few days and I fell apart. I don't want him to go. I don't want to be alone. I hate who I'm becoming. I don't even know this moody, needy, whiny girl in these stupid maternity clothes.

I want to be who I was.

Comments

[auroraloo.livejournal.com]

Try not to be sad.
I think it's normal to want to be with your husband.
Your not over reacting at all.
Don't put yourself down VERY SOON your going to be very busy with your new baby.
Your in my thoughts and prayers.

[lulubellnyc.livejournal.com]

I just don't like not being in control of my emotions.
I also don't like to be alone. sigh.

[snowydragon1776.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

You're allowed to be emotional when with child.

[lulubellnyc.livejournal.com]

I know that's it's allowed, but it doesn't make me feel better.
It's like I don't know myself anymore. damn hormones.

[snowydragon1776.livejournal.com]

Damn hormones indeed.

I know how you feel I'm basically depressed job hunting - and I definitely don't feel like I know myself anymore.

[lulubellnyc.livejournal.com]

Not that it will make you feel better, but there are alot of people in the same situation as you are.

I was laid off last year and hubby took a pay reduction and we had to sublet our apartment in NYC and move into my inlaws house for awhile.

I do think it's getting better, but very slooooowly.

Hope it gets better for you too.

[snowydragon1776.livejournal.com]

I HATE THAT STATEMENT -"lots of people in the same boat."
I know you mean well but I am well and truly sick of reading/hearing that especially from people in the situation. It really, really does not help or make anyone in the situation feel better. Just makes us feel like losers.

And just because I am job hunting does not mean my situation is the same as someone else who is job hunting. Lots of people have support systems from a spouse or family or friends.

I have nothing no support system, no husband, no kids, no pets , no nothing...except debt from graduate school that HAS to be paid.
I may very likely have to join the military, so, yeah, it's not going to get better for me - it's getting worse.

What a way for a nice person with a MLS to end up - in the military with no one to mourn her passing if she dies overseas.
Sorry that was a rant, but I really dislike that statement because every one uses it to run off so they don't have to be there for you.

[lulubellnyc.livejournal.com]

Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.

[snowydragon1776.livejournal.com]

Sorry.

You didn't upset me.

I'm just extremely upset and stressed in general.

[smithkingsley.livejournal.com]

You poor sweetie. *hugs* I hope he gets back before you know it. Take care. *more hugs*

[lulubellnyc.livejournal.com]

Benny and I are going to the city to stay with Andrew.
I didn't sleep a wink last night and I just don't want to be alone right now.

Thanks for the hugs.

[smithkingsley.livejournal.com]

Okay, good idea! Hang in there sweetie.

[vandelsira.livejournal.com]

It's horrible.But like say Aurolaloo,your baby it's coming and this emotional mess are over.Kisses and take care.

[lulubellnyc.livejournal.com]

I wasn't prepared to be this emotional. I mean, I'm always emotional but this is over the top.

[kira-iras.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[lulubellnyc.livejournal.com]

:D

[dnique729.livejournal.com]

The day you look into those little eyes, you'll realize it was all worth it.

Then you'll cry from lack of sleep.

[lulubellnyc.livejournal.com]

Um Thanks, I think.

[classics-lover.livejournal.com]

It's ok. Would you like Amy & Ed preggo fic?

[lulubellnyc.livejournal.com]

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
YES YES YES YES YES YES etc.

[classics-lover.livejournal.com]

Can I take that as a maybe? :-P

Yeah, Ed!Muse is quite broody and Amy is kinda scared, so Ed!Muse is trying to spoil her rotten without her realising what he's doing. Ninja!presents! LOLz.

Don't know if that's how it'll pan out, but thats what they're doing right now.

[lulubellnyc.livejournal.com]

Maybe?

There is no maybe.

[dnique729.livejournal.com]

Come on, Lulu. It was just my way of saying "Look on the bright side." Okay, so the irony was a little cruel. If anything though, all of these feelings will pass. You've come this far from the previous one. I say, "Don't sweat it." It's only your hormones being off-balanced.

I'll admit it too, that yes I've been a bit depressed lately. I've tried to find the humor in things but it's been tough. Such as others have stated depression with work, money issues, I fall into the same category of feeling like a nobody at times. Trying to be a writer AND being taken seriously is very very hard. I've already been judged by my book association and that hurt a lot. These were people who were supposed to help others not make others feel unworthy of their subject matter. It was very hard for me trying to get published, but alas my book is out now. Needless to say, trying to get people interested in it is another whole can of worms. I have asked and begged for information on how to get a book signing gig and haven't had much help. Financially, I'm nearly dried up because there is no money for distribution deals.

So, yeah. I'm struggling emotionally and spiritually but I keep telling myself something will happen. Something good will become of this struggle.

[lulubellnyc.livejournal.com]

Sorry you are having such a rough time.

I do believe in karma and things will turn around for you soon.

It does seem that everyone is depressed and uncertain right now. I can't even imagaine how hard it is to publish and promote a book now.

Sending good wishes and hugs your way.