I NEED A LITTLE FLIST ADVICE...............................

[lulubellnyc]

You might remember that I have a part time job with a local architect. There are just 4 of us in the office.
The architect
The secretary / bookkeeper
an architect student intern
and me

We are going to a holiday luncheon on Thursday. Am I obligated to buy them presents? If so, what? I really don't know them very well. Hubby did pick up some Target gift cards last week so I could give the secretary and the intern $25 gift cards, but what should I give the architect? He's a single man (I think gay) in his late 50's / early 60's.

At my last job we did a secret Santa and then I also exchanged with my friends there so I really don't know any other office etiquette.

SUGGESTIONS GREATLY APPRECIATED.

Comments

[joyful-molly.livejournal.com]

Donation to a charity in his name? It's what I usually do for people I don't know very well or who have everything already...

Some examples....

[lulubellnyc.livejournal.com]

I took your advice actually and gave them all donations to the local pet shelter in their names. They all own pets and I know they will appreciate it.

[vandelsira.livejournal.com]

A picture frame,pehaps??A elegant one.Or a book.

[lulubellnyc.livejournal.com]

I'm making them cookies and giving them a donation in their name to the local animal shelter. That way it won't be ackward if they don't do presents.

Thanks for your advice.

[june7rose.livejournal.com]

That's super tough. I know -- "thanks, June, couldn't figure that one out myself"

Traditional Emily Post-type etiquette says you never get a gift for a boss. It's like sucking up (though Emily wouldn't have phrased it that way). The boss gives you a bonus and that's that.

But I know modern life not lived that way. The secret Santa thing is great of course because you don't go broke and there are clear rules. The boss should have figured it out beforehand knowing people might be uncomfortable.

It's NOT required, but personally, I'd rather bring something along than to arrive empty handed in case you get something. Follow their lead-- if he gives them presents but they don't give him back anything, don't give anything yourself. Those gift cards are great and I wouldn't get anything fancier for him. Just wait and see what everyone else does.

But honestly, with etiquette again, you're not obligated to get anything for anybody. You've been there only a few months and you don't know these people. If you want to be nice, bring something, if you don't feel like it don't. Cookies are a great way to give people things and spend virtually nothing. They're also appropriate for a newbie and also, if no one else brings anything, you can give them without making people like shit that they didn't reciprocate. Store-bought cut and bake dough of course. :P

[lulubellnyc.livejournal.com]

The office is so small I didn't know who to ask.

Anyway, I'm making them all cookies (homemade of course) and I made a donation to the local animal shelter in their names and the shelter gives you a pet ornament when you do so I'll wrap the cookies and candy in saran wrap and tie the ornament in the bow.

Job done.

Thanks for your help.